The Pizza Cleanse is a Real Thing

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I hate dieting, but I hate having to buy a larger size too.  I have been in what I not-so-lovingly call my “gateway pants” – the pants that are comfortable enough that I can forget my “real” pants are too tight when I am ordering fries at a restaurant – for a few too many weeks, so I need to get back on track.  So, imagine my delight when I found out that the pizza cleanse is a real thing!

Yes, you read that correctly.  A.Pizza.Cleanse. A Cleanse where you eat nothing but pizza – seriously, nothing else.  And apparently, you can actually lose weight.  The author of this article actually lost 5 pounds eating nothing but pizza for a week. Obviously, I was intrigued – I get to eat pizza and lose weight?? Sign me up!

So, I tried it.  It was amazing on day 1. I haven’t eaten carbs with such reckless abandon in what feels like years.  Day 2, I felt like death.  Day 3, I didn’t want to see another pizza.  Day 4, I would have killed for a vegetable.  Seriously, manslaughter was considered in order to get some salad.  Day 5, even my gateway pants weren’t fitting.  This had to be a mistake, right? I mean, I was supposed to be losing weight. Well, I was not.

Turns out, the pizza cleanse works if eating pizza has you consuming fewer calories that normal.  So, the people that are successful typically drink alcohol and otherwise eat foods high in sugar.  Unfortunately for me, for more reasons that just this pizza cleanse, I don’t drink and avoid sugar as much as possible.  My non-stop pizza eating was more caloric that my normal diet.  Ugh. Looks like it is back to basics for me. But if it works for you, do it.

Bottom line: It was a lot more fun than master cleanse.

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